11/15/2015 Dear Mishka. Oh goody, flying with the little bitty humans.

The faculty wives decided that they want to go on a coastal cruise. Or at least try. 

Our trip to Miami for the much vaunted Disney Cruise we have anticipated all year.

The name of the airline who has a lock on almost all flights out of here is Liat…..

                                                                                                                                                                  

Liat, known for disasters (Luggage Is Already on Tarmac, Liat pronounced Leeate! Etc).  Always schedule hours of layover in San Juan or wherever.  Because they WILL be late.  But miracle of miracles, they actually put us on the plane at THE RIGHT TIME.  Miracle..  But wait, why are there so few seats for so many of us, and why are they moving us about like pawns on a chessboard.  Ahhh, enter the infamous LIAT WAY OF OPERATING.  See, they felt there weren’t enough passengers for a larger plane so they stuffed us all on a small turbo prop.  Now these little turbo props are fussy, you actually have to balance the people evenly based on weight.  Heavy folks in the middle please, light ones fore and aft...  Yeah, THAT feels safe.  So we have wasted a good amount of time with this baloney.  Now we waste more siting and sweating, and then more sitting, and sweating.  I hear the attendant ask the pilot to turn on the engines so the AC will turn on for us,.  Golly, thanks.   Now how about some damn flying?

So when you change planes you have to file new flight plans, not a quickie job, and of course recheck the route, run maintenance over the whole plane since it wasn’t scheduled to be used… and find your slippers, and get a cup of coffee…….etc.  At last we taxi down the shortened runway, you can look out the windows to see where Tropical Storm Erica chewed of one entire end.  And a section of one side of a two lane runway, now reduced to 1.5. No wonder the delivery jets won’t come here anymore.  I wouldn’t either.  It looks like a death trap.  We rattle and flap our way off the end of the runway before it drops into the sea (You think I’m kidding don’t you?  Look it up on Google.)  I have an honest to god urge to stick my arm out the window and flap up and down to see if it helps.  We buzz and bounce our 90 minutes into San Juan, a real international airport with indoor bathrooms and everything.  Then there’s local customs, luggage retrieval (you didn’t think they transferred it did you?).  US Customs, USDA check and stickers, off into line for the next leg of our flight.  I should mention US Customs is always a blast for me.   Anyone who knows me knows a have a rather severe tremor, stress makes it worse.  My whole damn body was jerking.  “You seem a little scared there ma’am.  Any reason why?”  Oh shit.  I do NOT want a body cavity search.  “It’s neurological”.  Actually it runs in the family.  We got no freaking clue what it is.   But that doesn’t sound so convincing.  We finally trot off to a real airline this time.  American Airlines.  We wait in line with everyone else, more minutes ticking away on the clock.  We are now two hours late.  There is a picture of my face on facebook at this point, rather scary looking. Needless to say we have to explain we missed our flight, want to check our bags and get on the next.  American Airlines.  Professionals, right?

HAH!!!!!!!!

You thought this shit was finished didn’t you?  Would I blog that short?  I should mention airports now have hand sanitizers EVERYWHERE.  Must stay clean.  We'll get back to that later.

We get to the counter at last where we are told we have to go to the back of ANOTHER line, the one for “special people”.  Yeah I’ll show you “special” princess.  Matt grabs my arm and drags me over before violence ensues.  We watch people in front of us unpack their suitcases trying to get them both under 50lbs.  When Matt and I ran into that we MOVED OFF TO THE SIDE.  Nope.  More time.  I practically stampeded up when it was my turn.  I handed him our tickets, including Liat with their original departure date.  This genius asked why we missed their plane, while holding the damn tickets.  I looked him straight in the eye and said “Liat is cheap" We get the "look" from our plague carrying desk jockey.  He is sniffling like a snot monster is about to drip out his nose.  As he takes both of our pass ports in hand and examines them. EEEWW.  After hearing our problem he sucks more snot down his throat, takes our tickets in hand and goes to find a supervisor.  In the meantime he dashes into the back, hopefully to evacuate his nose.  With glee in their voice and a gargle, we are told Liat has agreements with not a single airlines so they can’t help.    They merrily (I'm not kidding) tell us we missed the 3:00 flight. We could go on standby.  Standby my ass. I've been waiting for a year for this trip you bozos. I look at him in exasperation and say “Can’t we PAY to get on the plan"e?!".  He looks down his nose at me (a snargling trick) and says “Well sure, if you want to pay (SLAP!) $75.  The slap was my credit card. Which the nose monster who had been tapping his nose with the back of his hands was all too happy to paw over.  This little operation took 20 minutes and two people, he and a supervisor.  What the Hell?  Watching Gargles sneeze into cupped hands and then hand my card and passports I took them with my fingertips like they were infected with ebola.  I actually went to the rest room and used soap and water to scrub the passport, inside laminated cover, and credit card.  Outside I spent a few minutes at the sanitizer station scrubbing them and myself thoroughly  Hubby was right behind me.

Bet you think this is over now… not even close.

Off through more cattle gates and throwing our shoes and bags in a bucket so we can be scanned a'la Star Trek.  Once re-garbed we headed casually to the gate, after all, we can't make it till 5, right? Guess who was still casually loading the 3:00 we “missed”?  Yup, not even half way through and the list of stand-bys was obscene, thank god for emergency credit.  So for 20 minutes we watched them load the plane we wanted on and then had 2 hours to kill.  Oh goody, Junk shops and airport food overpriced.  Oh, it was about this time the snap on my wallet broke… the one holding all the cash.  Now open.  God bless long hair, it means we carry pony tail ties squirreled away on our person and in our bags, one wallet lashed shut.

Now, let’s get to the FUN part.  Boarding.  American couldn’t even put us together so we ended up in the same seat two rows apart.  Not the worst and I had his suitcase in my overhead.  As I settled in I looked across the aisle and saw one of the most terrifying things you can see on an airplane (insert ominous music here), An INFANT!!!  I mean a tiny scream machine with only three people between us.  I yanked my bag out from under the seat and began digging like a frantic Jack Russell Terrier.  Ah Hah!  Earplugs.  Cram cram stuff stuff cram.  I now have silicone plugged halfway into my brain to muffle any screaming yet to begin.  Gotcha!

Oh but fate was far more cruel than that.  While our infant seemed to have been given a valium, something far worse arrived.  TODDLER ALERT!  TODDLER ALERT!  Red lights flashed and sirens whooped.  This monster from hell was seated exactly between myself and Matt.  We are still boarding of course so let the kicking and shouting commence.   I slammed headphones on over the silicone plugs and turned my music to heavy metal, starting with Ozzy in my deafened ears.  Oh and I might have swallowed two valium, dry….Do you know I could still hear the little fucker?  This creature from hell believed every word out his mouth should be shouted at the top of his rather impressive lungs.  Once we took off he discovered the seat back table and the fact you could slam it over and over and no one would stop you.  The parents apparently were either in comas or didn’t care.  The man next to Matt turned more than once and said something. These parents of quality didn't give a crap and let Damien continue his reign of terror.... for a THREE HOUR flight.  I would have gone and told a flight attendant to shut him up, move his seat or I would take care of it myself and they could call the Sky Marshall. (“Hey kid, stop yelling and behave or I’ll sneak in your room while you’re asleep tonight, rip your arm off and beat you with it”)

Upon landing departure looked something like people running from a burning building.  I watched a teenage girl three rows behind me shove past people and was almost to where I was waiting.  Oh hell no.  I turned into part octopus and managed to open the overhead bin, grab Matt’s suitcase, pull it down without crowning anyone all while barely leaving my seat.  As escape got closer I decided a hockey lesson was in order.  The first thing I did was look at her cute pink suitcase she was shoving ahead of hers like a snowplow, and slam mine right on top.  I looked at her with all the hatred I had   for little Damien and she took a step back. Smart move, I was going to body check her into the boards if she tried to leave me anywhere near airplane hell.  My turn!  I took off down the aisle like my butt was on fire, Matt three paces ahead of me moving at the at an even faster speed, I could barely keep up.

We didn’t stop moving until we had trotted through the entire airport to baggage claim, leapt upon an elevator, got to the shuttle stop to the hotel and were waiting outside at the curb.  We stopped and gasped for air.

On my facebook is a shot of me dancing in the hall of an actual hotel.... a late night silent hotel....

2014 Dear Mishka. Cows!

Dear Mishka.

Well, we knew this would be an adventure.  Parrots as ND homing birds and lizards and iguanas and the damned cows on The beach.  Well Something Else Usually travels along with cattle. No I do not mean a million flies. Nor do I mean did not just little birds that pick the flies off the back, no I don't mean mud. I mean it least one big black bulls! Big! And usually planted smack in the middle of the path that we walk down. In past weeks we have simply waited for him to move so that we may walk. 

While walking a friends dog though I lost lost my temper with this animal, picked up a large size palm frond and began waving it at him and yelling and occasionally smacking him in the butt. Mr Bull got out of my way and sauntered off the side of the road. Since then he always avoids me to get out of my way and we walk along quite merrily ignoring each other. 

Well today was a lovely sunrise, we were laughing and we could hear the sound of the waves rolling and smoke still turned up from a night and party before. We were quite enjoying ourselves in the silence. And then I heard a familiar sound, eats. Horses? One of the riding stables is down here? I'm so excited I turn around to see the horse and said I see a charging bull approximately four feet away from me. OK in approximately half a microsecond my brain said I have nothing to wave at him, I am too close to run, open beach on both sides and open water behind.  This is going to hurt a lot if I don't do something. So I have on my arm with a little bitty picnic basket my other arm holding a student coat that I am sewing and yelling.. Matthew was also yelling and trying to wave his umbrella but the bull was so close to the umbrella could not be extended or it would've actually hit him. I really don't know how long the standoff lasted.  It was probably a couple of seconds but in my mind approximately 4.5 days.  He finally turned and wandered up the beach sauntering quite arrogantly. We watched him every step of the way and then kept looking over our shoulders as we booked along as fast as we could. And all of this before 8 a.m.! 

How did your morning go? That will get suggestions from my friend to make some nice big juicy steaks using the s*** that I come from a few. No one else seem to think I was serious. That bull hit me and almost knocked me down hopefully into the water and if he does it again I'm having me a real good dinner. They can deal with it, it's called American justice its called Detroit justice kill and eat them or get killed and be eaten.  The first time I saw a t-shirt with a picture of a handgun and the phrase "Detroit where the weak are killed and eaten" all I could think was "you know that's perfect I want one." Now when people ask what it is like I tell them you know every news article you read? Almost all of those movies in the scary scenes? All the horror stories on the news? They were almost all true and personally I refuse to go any further into Detroit then I have to because I've had to turn my car around and run red lights to get out twice. 

Someday ask Kristin Swihart about the day that she was supposed to be navigating and would up on Mac in a burned out the area of town.  I think we both peed the seats before we got out of there. And it's still not the worst area I've been in. Don't trust GPS units in Detroit. Let's ship that bull to 9 mile and see what happens to it there.  I once got off the WRONG WRONG exit and at a red light scary people came out of shadows and started walking toward my car, the only car on the street, first time in my life I've ever run a red that fast and locked all the doors at the same time..  Damned google navigation systems.

Well there's the latest cow story.

3/25/15 Dear Mishka. Cookies and bread

Dear Mishka,

I'm so sorry I've been away so long.   But this one ought to make up for it, because I'm going to floor you with "What the great and powerful Oz-Pam has been up to" in order to keep my sanity

I've started  selling cookies on occasional days in front of the library.  I have Matthew tell me when exams are so I know when the students will all be camped out and need to get food fast.  Bring on the molasses cookies and the classic chocolate chip!!  Next week I'm going to try a brownie I'll sprinkle with toffee chips and maybe caramel.  These I'm gonna ask a decent price for, maybe cut them small but charge 5ec each. That is a nice price for a short time of work.  Cookies take awhile because I cook about 6-7 dozen at a time and package 2 at a time.  5ec each.

Are you ready for this shocker?  Since the bread here is all white and SUCKS, I've learned to bake.  I do honest to god, all day long, honey wheat for us and now have someone asking me to sell to her.  Yup, Ms. Never done anything more complex than chocolate chip cookies only is actually baking bread.  I never thought I could.

I feel guilt about this but, I have a maid here ("cleaning lady") 3 days a week.  I have this shiniest floors and kitchens you've ever seen.  I felt guilty until a neighbor pointed out that there are so few jobs on the island and pay so little.. so I remind myself of this when I'm feeling bad.  And Zona is a dear dear woman.

I've gotten more involved with the spouses organization.  Thursdays  it's a speed shopping trip to Roseau... mom's have to be back by noon to pick up the kids for lunch so we don't even park the bus.  he stops in front of one of the many shopping stores and charge in like panicking sea otters.  I've earned to have a list, store by store, and stick to it.  If I need to go off list I worry that bus is going to blithely drive off without me.

Prices still astound me, even with the exchange rate so I have to watch those pennies.... and worse, the people here with cars can go at leisure and find the niftiest shops and want to take me.  That will not help the budget.

That's Thursdays with student spouses (Ross Spouses Organization - RSO).  I'm a bit older but more comfortable with them.  Wednesdays the faculty wives group goes out on an all day excursion, some sort of adventure, we go to waterfalls, lakes, restaurants, and especially beaches and bars.  And once a moth Roseau but the older women kind of tow the rest of us around.  Most of these women have been here over 15 years so I have little in common with (grandchildren, lives in multiple continents, children dying, cancer, etc.) but recently 3 more wives have arrived (with their husbands of course) that are closer to my age so it's becoming more exciting.    They also arrange Saturday trips every other week for the whole faculty.  Last trip was emerald pool and waterfall where you were allowed to play in the water.  We also stopped on the way back to photograph hibiscus falls as well  We stopped at one of the villagers homes where they had a grill outside on the sidewalk and bought up all the grilled corn..  Yummy.  I should mention, this particular trip Matthew was the only man and since I have to sit in the front of the bus to avoid barfing,, Matt was in the back with the women.  I just tried not to think about it.

You can also catch Saturday morning shuttles to the farmers market in Roseau or Portsmouth.  The markets are wonderful.  You can't beat a market for fresh food.   You just have to wash it carefully.  But on an island like this you don't have to worry  about organic!  I try to cook more than I do now.  Too much take out!  Not great, but easy. Sigh... my poor waist..  Did you know I've put on 10 lbs since arriving here.  Gack.  I found out when we headed to Michigan and I couldn't get my jeans over my hips  I informed Matt that after landing we were going straight to Old Navy or the next size up... damn.

I've taken to tailoring well, keeps me busy in bits and spurts.  So of course I've taken on more.  I am learning to quilt, first by finishing one I've had in storage about 8 years.  And a woman named Dawn is a quilting maniac and has convinced me to teach a quilting class.

Just to add one more thing for me to forgot to work on, I've taken to making jewelry of seaglass wrapped in gold and silver wire.  its being sold on the side at a new restaurant.  I was stunned it sold.  I mean, I like it a great deal but then we know my tastes are not exactly conventional..

God, cooking, baking, sewing, quilting, jewelry making.   Who the hell is this and where did Pam and her dented couch from watching movies go to?

Great, now I need chocolate... and I don't mean the double shot of Bailey's I have at night.  Oh, and I've gotten good at raspberry Martinis and lemon drops.  Matt likes them as well.  We've both developed a taste for vodka. Matthew of all things has a double shot of whiskey almost every night.  Cinnamon infused whiskey or (if he can get it in the US) Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey.  Is that odd or what?  We discovered a bottle Jack Daniels markets as Winter Jack and it's about the best thing either of us have ever tasted.  Regretfully it's a winter edition only and we won't be back until July maybe.  Damn.  Maybe when we buzz through Miami in November we can find some.

Oh quick mental funny picture.  My hand tremors have never gone away so some things are aggravating, like not being able to write with pen and paper, but then there's breakfast.  Egg whites, a fork, and tremors.  Tah dah! Egg white everywhere..... The cat loved me.  I finally gave up and since no one was looking snarfed it up with my fingers.  NOT the first time, I've become eccentric with my finger eating.  Soup I just go Japanese and pick up the damn bowl.  With two hands I'm almost stable.  With one hand it's like my own personal 8.5 on the richter scale.

Well, there's more adventures to tell of but I'll save that foro another letter.... I just have to say.....Whales and volcanoes under water.

Love
The Blonde

6/25/14 Dear Mishka the latest faculty outing

6/25/14
Dear Mishka

So the time has come for more treats and fascinating (hopefully) tid bits of life here.  Our trip to Crescent Moon Eco Resort  http://crescentmooncabins.com/  My goodness what a trip.  I've mentioned the roads before.... well I was just coming off a 2 day migraine.  You would think I would be smart and stay home... you would think I would avoid twisty turny bouncy things.... you would THINK that, unless you knew me.  Yep, I called shotgun as we boarded and off we went...

Oh. My. God.

This trip.  We turned off the main road onto a much smaller road that was made of pot holes, broken concrete, and more pot holes.. big ones.  They came in groups like teenage girls roaming the mall.  Every 8-10 feet.  No, really.  Our driver managed to maneuver the bus around as best he could.  Then we hit it, off-roading in a bus.  Going uphill.  A steep hill.  When we found concrete I could have wept with joy,.... for the whole 5 minutes it lasted.  Then we spotted a bike path, and turned onto it.  Huh????  Yep... around and up still, occasionally slipping in mud but moving.  Potholes? This road WAS a pot hole... with it's kin in tow.  Turning off THAT... oh goody!  Finally we are driving on... is this a goat path?  I think so but everyone else appears to know where we're going and no one is screaming or in prayer.  I sit still as the road drops off only feet from the bus to plunge down cliff sides and grasses threaten to come in my window.  Some of them make it.We finally come out to some clear areas.. they are clear because there are no cliff walls surrounding us.  We have arrived at the TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN!!!  Remember that migraine?  It was tickling the back of my skull but this amazing view made it all worthwhile.

Here lies our lodge.  It is a small organic farm with 5-6 cottages scattered about.  Meals are like the fine dining back home and there is a hammock slung in the library for relaxing.  Wow!  They also roast their own coffee there... we got to see how and then enjoyed steaming cups with our lunch.  They make and sell essential oils, chocolate bars, and home made soap.  All in all the day was lovely.

I decided to clock our trip back down the mountain.  Just for curiosities sake.

2:55 we turtle back down the goat path oh so carefully.  
3:06 we spot some remnants of concrete 
3:08 it smooths out, mostly.  
60 seconds later, a smidgen of heaven.  A town called Pont Heritage has a nicely paved road through it's center, including yellow lines and even a round about (why the roundabout none of us could figure... perhaps the construction crew was bored).  We all enjoy the respite from our bouncing.  We know what's coming...

3:16 the road that tried to eat the bus the bus.
I get smart (finally) and go into the chemical cocktail rhumba and take about 3 different things.  Headache, pain, and nausea.  Because I got it all going on.  But because of this I survive!  Cue Gloria Gaynor song.

This rotten road sneakily starts out smooth enough but slowly oh so slowly deteriorates.  That pitted and axle sacrificing dirt disaster I hesitate to call a road rears it's head like the winner of an ugly dog contest

3:44 the pavement has disappeared completely and the agony begins.  Crawling along at a pace so slow the speedometer can't register it.  Any stretch of smooth path over 10 yards is like an expressway gleaming in the night!  Fallen trees can't stop us!  Rockslides we roll right by!!  Gang way nature!  A bus of older women and their driver is coming through... come hell or high water.....  Because if we get stuck out here we're screwed.  I have yet to see a tow truck on this island.

The chain of pits and pot holes stretches on before us for an eternity.  The ghosts of children fallen in, ne'er to be seen again haunt the road sides.  I am sitting in my seat horseback style with my back far away from the seat back.  Taking the worst in my lower body while trying to keep my head still.  God bless mom for teaching me to ride.

3:49  Freedom!  The Highway!!  Was it really that short a time?  It feels like it took hours and my back agrees.

4:40 and I am home.  All I have left to do is run back to the bus waving my arms and pantomiming holding a phone to my ear so I can get my phone back from where I so cleverly stashed it in the dash.

I finally sit outside my husbands office awaiting the (hopefully) smile on his face when he sees me.  I hope I don't look like the refugee I feel like.

And THAT is my "faculty spouses outing" Wednesday.

Love
The Blonde

6/13/14 Dear Mishka, the internet, computers and doggies

6/13/14

Dear Mishka

Internet service here drives me bonkers on campus. My phone just doesn't want to recognize it even when the person next to me is happily texting away while humming a happy tune. Persnickety punishment for dropping it twice in the river. But the laptop SHOULD work. I think even Matthew is ready to put it through the wall. Computers hate me. I think it's personal, I must have chewed on unplugged wires as a kid or something. I expect to wake up in the night to find a collection of lost phone chargers wrapped about my throat and an icon giving me an evil smiley face as I slowly fade away into the nothingness of human death from which there is no re-boot. Well there are zombies but I don't think they count. And they don't use computers. They only attack other humans,,, wait a minutes..... CONSPIRACY!!!! CONSPIRACY!!! AI IS HERE!!! I KNEW IT.... Well that's done it, I am never sleeping again and I will never watch Terminator the same way again.  Dr. Who come save us!!

I've discovered a new addiction, it's too strong to resist... it pulls me everyday until i give in. I never thought I'd have a greater weakness than a McDonald's french fry but... oh forgive me, it's...it's.... Monster Energy Drinks. Grape..... can you ever forgive me? I was weak, I still am. And it's affected my brain.

Twice today I have walked down the beach to see Matt at work (a 1.3 mile walk each way) and needed an umbrella. It's hurricane season, ergo, lots of rain. And the season has only just begun. Glad I bought snorkeling equipment. Two walks, two missing umbrellas, and I am here on campus for the third time looking out at the rain and guess what? Yup, 4 of them hanging off the door knob next to the front door back at the apartment. All accounted for, dry and happy in their home. Dammit. I have one more walk in order to get home. I intend to carry one of the damn things every day and wear my swimsuit.

In an amusing coincidence, I am dog sitting for two weeks.  The happiest dog named Shadow that you will ever meet.  He LITERALLY bounces up and down when he sees you. A very LARGE dog, a cross between a happy black lab and a smart border collie. He is a therapy dog and really REALLY well trained (better than most of the 3 year-olds I've ever met). The only white spotted bit from the border collie is the single front house slipper... cute as the devil, the rest is long black fur and a super fluffy tail.The owner's been teaching him to swim so I took him into the sea on Sunday and we went swimming, then hosed him off at home as best I could. Yesterday we went wading (he wasn't swimming again as far as he was concerned) and the sad eyed fellow got hosed off again. Today I was walking the happy and dry fellow when the rains broke. One very wet Shadow gave me an accusing look yet pitiful at the same time, I felt so guilty but nothing I could do. Lets hope he gets to stay dry this afternoon because we're walking again. Gotta pick up Uncle Matt!  Shadow's tough to wear out. When Shadow is awake and happy he dances. Bounces up and down on his front feet so happy to see you that he can't hold still. Shadow dancing takes on a whole new meaning. But this dog has been dry for probably a grand total of 45 minutes in the last 3 days. With all the sand and salt I'd better figure out how to wash this patient chap. Think I should go with a sponge bath or a nice scalp massage and hot oil treatment? Garden hose on high or the worlds biggest hair clog in the shower?

Such an interesting world here.......

Love

The Blonde

p.s.  While walking Shadow again today the rain started.  I pulled out my favorite giant pink daisy umbrella, popped it open, shortened the leash and held it over the dog.  I think I made a lot of people smile but given a choice which one of hits the couch while wet.... I'll play valet to Shadow and hold the umbrella over the dog.

5/27/2014 Dear Mishka, jellies, squids and octopus

Dear Mishka,

this is one of my harder blogs to type, not content but the hands shake terrible these days.  Makes me want to scream sometimes.  Luckily it does not interfere with putting on a dive mask and flippers.

Now first I should say, these next few will be scattered as I have been lazy and only taking notes on what would be a good blog.

Matthew and I ventured farther out on our own than we did before.  I think I got nervous before he did.  But seeing the fish was lovely.  I dove for a sand dollar but it was so fragile it crumbled in my hands.  Somment on the eceonomy?  Nah, just beautiful diving with my husband.

And I received my second jelly fish sting. ignore the myth of vinegar (BAD!!!) just use a credit card to scrape  what's not  secured and if you are not having a severe reaction, benadryl and calamine.  I got this from the clinic which is located on campus, you know, right off the ocean.. they are kind of used to it. Sound like poison ivy anyone?  Just feels like a bee sting.

There is a faculty outing at Mero Beach this Saturday.  I Look forward to attending with Matthew.  it's a nice way to spend time together under the sun.  Even Matthew has a flight tan and I'm really going for it.  Positively changing colors like an octopus.

Speaking of, I had the chance to go to champagne again, but this time explored in the in the othe directioin.  we wandered a school of small squid, thousands and thousands travelling in a huge sinuous ribbon the moved about. One minute you were beside it watching, the next you were engulfed trying not to freak OUT,

A cry of "octopus" went out but only I heard. so bulleted over (as such as a human in snorkle and rubber flippers can bullet)  He was an amazing so perfectly camouflaged by the roccks while undulating looking for a snack,  I love the creatures and watched as his colors changed, but not like a chameleon, slow and subtle, but instead in the flash of a blink, you could miss it.

What wonders we way that day.  And new frienndsfor the day as well.

Now for a caveat..... barracuda are attracted to sparkly things.  My bikini has a skull and cross bones on the left breast outlined in rhinestones, whoops.   I LIKE this suit Instant mastectomy? We know I gonna need one in the next ten years anyway. Chomp!

Ah well, that's all for now.
Love, The Blonde

5/20/14 Dear Mishka, drivers rain and lizards

Dear Mishka,

Well time for an update on island life.  Slow, somewhat boring, yadda.

The drivers amuse me with the driving, it's all terrifying but it's the horn you have to get used to.  It means passing, coming through, howdy, hey buddy I'm driving a cab too, I recognize you, someone is behind me, coming round the corner, look out.... etc.  It is the main communication device on these switchbacks.  And since we live on a straightaway with no speed bumps they go as fast as they can,, reving the engines which echo in the valley where we live.  It's like the evening motocross.  Even the loud thumping radios.


They say the rainy season is coming soon.  So far it's unusual storms.  the rain  starts out light but as it patters down on the metal roof it sounds much louder..  Then it slowly increases until suddenly you hear thunder and a massive down pour.  You get out of bed to go to the window and watch, but by the time you get to the window it has stopped.  The only sound remaining is the singing of the giant cicadas and the lowing of the cow down the lane.  By morning the damp ground is drying and the humidity climbing high and fast.  They say the rainy season is coming.


I should tell you about the lizards.  They are everywhere.  Matthew and I have categorized the ones we've seen.  The one who hangs around outside the laundry room.  they would sit in one hand easily and are quiet, they are now called laundry lizards.  The next is one so small you barely see them, they've been nicknamed micro lizards  Poor things, Merlin has caught two so far, Munch munch burp.

Our next contender is similar in size to the laundry lizards but have the throat that puffs up, and the fan  So one day I called them ruffles.  It stuck.

We've seen one larger in the woods by the path we walk.  Now we get to big lizards... forearm or longer.  This chap was a beautiful bright blue.  so of course the nickname was Sinatra.  Haven't seen him since but we know he's out there.

Near campus I saw a good size one the length of my arm at least, munching a laundry lizard and strolling off.  He was the most brilliant emerald green.  He appears to live around this student housing unit.

And finally, Matthew has a picture of the big daddy.  Everything you expect an iguana to be, claws, spikes, and an attitude that the world could just wait for him, he was in no rush to cross the sidewalk.

Love The Blonde