6/25/14 Dear Mishka the latest faculty outing

6/25/14
Dear Mishka

So the time has come for more treats and fascinating (hopefully) tid bits of life here.  Our trip to Crescent Moon Eco Resort  http://crescentmooncabins.com/  My goodness what a trip.  I've mentioned the roads before.... well I was just coming off a 2 day migraine.  You would think I would be smart and stay home... you would think I would avoid twisty turny bouncy things.... you would THINK that, unless you knew me.  Yep, I called shotgun as we boarded and off we went...

Oh. My. God.

This trip.  We turned off the main road onto a much smaller road that was made of pot holes, broken concrete, and more pot holes.. big ones.  They came in groups like teenage girls roaming the mall.  Every 8-10 feet.  No, really.  Our driver managed to maneuver the bus around as best he could.  Then we hit it, off-roading in a bus.  Going uphill.  A steep hill.  When we found concrete I could have wept with joy,.... for the whole 5 minutes it lasted.  Then we spotted a bike path, and turned onto it.  Huh????  Yep... around and up still, occasionally slipping in mud but moving.  Potholes? This road WAS a pot hole... with it's kin in tow.  Turning off THAT... oh goody!  Finally we are driving on... is this a goat path?  I think so but everyone else appears to know where we're going and no one is screaming or in prayer.  I sit still as the road drops off only feet from the bus to plunge down cliff sides and grasses threaten to come in my window.  Some of them make it.We finally come out to some clear areas.. they are clear because there are no cliff walls surrounding us.  We have arrived at the TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN!!!  Remember that migraine?  It was tickling the back of my skull but this amazing view made it all worthwhile.

Here lies our lodge.  It is a small organic farm with 5-6 cottages scattered about.  Meals are like the fine dining back home and there is a hammock slung in the library for relaxing.  Wow!  They also roast their own coffee there... we got to see how and then enjoyed steaming cups with our lunch.  They make and sell essential oils, chocolate bars, and home made soap.  All in all the day was lovely.

I decided to clock our trip back down the mountain.  Just for curiosities sake.

2:55 we turtle back down the goat path oh so carefully.  
3:06 we spot some remnants of concrete 
3:08 it smooths out, mostly.  
60 seconds later, a smidgen of heaven.  A town called Pont Heritage has a nicely paved road through it's center, including yellow lines and even a round about (why the roundabout none of us could figure... perhaps the construction crew was bored).  We all enjoy the respite from our bouncing.  We know what's coming...

3:16 the road that tried to eat the bus the bus.
I get smart (finally) and go into the chemical cocktail rhumba and take about 3 different things.  Headache, pain, and nausea.  Because I got it all going on.  But because of this I survive!  Cue Gloria Gaynor song.

This rotten road sneakily starts out smooth enough but slowly oh so slowly deteriorates.  That pitted and axle sacrificing dirt disaster I hesitate to call a road rears it's head like the winner of an ugly dog contest

3:44 the pavement has disappeared completely and the agony begins.  Crawling along at a pace so slow the speedometer can't register it.  Any stretch of smooth path over 10 yards is like an expressway gleaming in the night!  Fallen trees can't stop us!  Rockslides we roll right by!!  Gang way nature!  A bus of older women and their driver is coming through... come hell or high water.....  Because if we get stuck out here we're screwed.  I have yet to see a tow truck on this island.

The chain of pits and pot holes stretches on before us for an eternity.  The ghosts of children fallen in, ne'er to be seen again haunt the road sides.  I am sitting in my seat horseback style with my back far away from the seat back.  Taking the worst in my lower body while trying to keep my head still.  God bless mom for teaching me to ride.

3:49  Freedom!  The Highway!!  Was it really that short a time?  It feels like it took hours and my back agrees.

4:40 and I am home.  All I have left to do is run back to the bus waving my arms and pantomiming holding a phone to my ear so I can get my phone back from where I so cleverly stashed it in the dash.

I finally sit outside my husbands office awaiting the (hopefully) smile on his face when he sees me.  I hope I don't look like the refugee I feel like.

And THAT is my "faculty spouses outing" Wednesday.

Love
The Blonde

6/13/14 Dear Mishka, the internet, computers and doggies

6/13/14

Dear Mishka

Internet service here drives me bonkers on campus. My phone just doesn't want to recognize it even when the person next to me is happily texting away while humming a happy tune. Persnickety punishment for dropping it twice in the river. But the laptop SHOULD work. I think even Matthew is ready to put it through the wall. Computers hate me. I think it's personal, I must have chewed on unplugged wires as a kid or something. I expect to wake up in the night to find a collection of lost phone chargers wrapped about my throat and an icon giving me an evil smiley face as I slowly fade away into the nothingness of human death from which there is no re-boot. Well there are zombies but I don't think they count. And they don't use computers. They only attack other humans,,, wait a minutes..... CONSPIRACY!!!! CONSPIRACY!!! AI IS HERE!!! I KNEW IT.... Well that's done it, I am never sleeping again and I will never watch Terminator the same way again.  Dr. Who come save us!!

I've discovered a new addiction, it's too strong to resist... it pulls me everyday until i give in. I never thought I'd have a greater weakness than a McDonald's french fry but... oh forgive me, it's...it's.... Monster Energy Drinks. Grape..... can you ever forgive me? I was weak, I still am. And it's affected my brain.

Twice today I have walked down the beach to see Matt at work (a 1.3 mile walk each way) and needed an umbrella. It's hurricane season, ergo, lots of rain. And the season has only just begun. Glad I bought snorkeling equipment. Two walks, two missing umbrellas, and I am here on campus for the third time looking out at the rain and guess what? Yup, 4 of them hanging off the door knob next to the front door back at the apartment. All accounted for, dry and happy in their home. Dammit. I have one more walk in order to get home. I intend to carry one of the damn things every day and wear my swimsuit.

In an amusing coincidence, I am dog sitting for two weeks.  The happiest dog named Shadow that you will ever meet.  He LITERALLY bounces up and down when he sees you. A very LARGE dog, a cross between a happy black lab and a smart border collie. He is a therapy dog and really REALLY well trained (better than most of the 3 year-olds I've ever met). The only white spotted bit from the border collie is the single front house slipper... cute as the devil, the rest is long black fur and a super fluffy tail.The owner's been teaching him to swim so I took him into the sea on Sunday and we went swimming, then hosed him off at home as best I could. Yesterday we went wading (he wasn't swimming again as far as he was concerned) and the sad eyed fellow got hosed off again. Today I was walking the happy and dry fellow when the rains broke. One very wet Shadow gave me an accusing look yet pitiful at the same time, I felt so guilty but nothing I could do. Lets hope he gets to stay dry this afternoon because we're walking again. Gotta pick up Uncle Matt!  Shadow's tough to wear out. When Shadow is awake and happy he dances. Bounces up and down on his front feet so happy to see you that he can't hold still. Shadow dancing takes on a whole new meaning. But this dog has been dry for probably a grand total of 45 minutes in the last 3 days. With all the sand and salt I'd better figure out how to wash this patient chap. Think I should go with a sponge bath or a nice scalp massage and hot oil treatment? Garden hose on high or the worlds biggest hair clog in the shower?

Such an interesting world here.......

Love

The Blonde

p.s.  While walking Shadow again today the rain started.  I pulled out my favorite giant pink daisy umbrella, popped it open, shortened the leash and held it over the dog.  I think I made a lot of people smile but given a choice which one of hits the couch while wet.... I'll play valet to Shadow and hold the umbrella over the dog.

5/27/2014 Dear Mishka, jellies, squids and octopus

Dear Mishka,

this is one of my harder blogs to type, not content but the hands shake terrible these days.  Makes me want to scream sometimes.  Luckily it does not interfere with putting on a dive mask and flippers.

Now first I should say, these next few will be scattered as I have been lazy and only taking notes on what would be a good blog.

Matthew and I ventured farther out on our own than we did before.  I think I got nervous before he did.  But seeing the fish was lovely.  I dove for a sand dollar but it was so fragile it crumbled in my hands.  Somment on the eceonomy?  Nah, just beautiful diving with my husband.

And I received my second jelly fish sting. ignore the myth of vinegar (BAD!!!) just use a credit card to scrape  what's not  secured and if you are not having a severe reaction, benadryl and calamine.  I got this from the clinic which is located on campus, you know, right off the ocean.. they are kind of used to it. Sound like poison ivy anyone?  Just feels like a bee sting.

There is a faculty outing at Mero Beach this Saturday.  I Look forward to attending with Matthew.  it's a nice way to spend time together under the sun.  Even Matthew has a flight tan and I'm really going for it.  Positively changing colors like an octopus.

Speaking of, I had the chance to go to champagne again, but this time explored in the in the othe directioin.  we wandered a school of small squid, thousands and thousands travelling in a huge sinuous ribbon the moved about. One minute you were beside it watching, the next you were engulfed trying not to freak OUT,

A cry of "octopus" went out but only I heard. so bulleted over (as such as a human in snorkle and rubber flippers can bullet)  He was an amazing so perfectly camouflaged by the roccks while undulating looking for a snack,  I love the creatures and watched as his colors changed, but not like a chameleon, slow and subtle, but instead in the flash of a blink, you could miss it.

What wonders we way that day.  And new frienndsfor the day as well.

Now for a caveat..... barracuda are attracted to sparkly things.  My bikini has a skull and cross bones on the left breast outlined in rhinestones, whoops.   I LIKE this suit Instant mastectomy? We know I gonna need one in the next ten years anyway. Chomp!

Ah well, that's all for now.
Love, The Blonde

5/20/14 Dear Mishka, drivers rain and lizards

Dear Mishka,

Well time for an update on island life.  Slow, somewhat boring, yadda.

The drivers amuse me with the driving, it's all terrifying but it's the horn you have to get used to.  It means passing, coming through, howdy, hey buddy I'm driving a cab too, I recognize you, someone is behind me, coming round the corner, look out.... etc.  It is the main communication device on these switchbacks.  And since we live on a straightaway with no speed bumps they go as fast as they can,, reving the engines which echo in the valley where we live.  It's like the evening motocross.  Even the loud thumping radios.


They say the rainy season is coming soon.  So far it's unusual storms.  the rain  starts out light but as it patters down on the metal roof it sounds much louder..  Then it slowly increases until suddenly you hear thunder and a massive down pour.  You get out of bed to go to the window and watch, but by the time you get to the window it has stopped.  The only sound remaining is the singing of the giant cicadas and the lowing of the cow down the lane.  By morning the damp ground is drying and the humidity climbing high and fast.  They say the rainy season is coming.


I should tell you about the lizards.  They are everywhere.  Matthew and I have categorized the ones we've seen.  The one who hangs around outside the laundry room.  they would sit in one hand easily and are quiet, they are now called laundry lizards.  The next is one so small you barely see them, they've been nicknamed micro lizards  Poor things, Merlin has caught two so far, Munch munch burp.

Our next contender is similar in size to the laundry lizards but have the throat that puffs up, and the fan  So one day I called them ruffles.  It stuck.

We've seen one larger in the woods by the path we walk.  Now we get to big lizards... forearm or longer.  This chap was a beautiful bright blue.  so of course the nickname was Sinatra.  Haven't seen him since but we know he's out there.

Near campus I saw a good size one the length of my arm at least, munching a laundry lizard and strolling off.  He was the most brilliant emerald green.  He appears to live around this student housing unit.

And finally, Matthew has a picture of the big daddy.  Everything you expect an iguana to be, claws, spikes, and an attitude that the world could just wait for him, he was in no rush to cross the sidewalk.

Love The Blonde

4/13/14 Dear Mishka super yacht

4/13/14
Dear Mishka

Can you say superyacht? Ran into someone who knew a few things, it rents for 1 million dollars a week.  that itty bitty boat beside it? That's a full size fishing trawler.

Love
The Blonde

LovRe

4/11/14 Dear Mishka. A faculty outing

4/11/14

Dear Mishka,

Yesterday we took a faculty trio to Batibou Bay (Matt is now a faculty member... ooooh! I'm puffed up with pride even if he is unsure). Batibou Bay is one of the most beautiful spots on the island. It was amazing. So beautiful that scenes from Pirates of thhe Carribean were filmed there. Oh what romantic scene I wondered The pirate ships? A love scene? The great battlements of the fort?..... remember when they were stuck inside the giant golf ball and went rolling down the hill. Yep. No fancy ships or swashbuckling, just rolling in a giant hamster ball. Sigh.

Well it was still amazing. Beaches of white sands and blue waters, a reef just nearby where the waves were crashing and throwing up giant plumes to awe you. The surf coming into the beach not breaking hard but waves just big enough that if you were standing shoulder deep you better jump with them or plan on salt up your nose. The children screamed and played in the surf and the adults stood nearby, bobbing up and down in the waves as they rolled through. Occasionally being surprised by a large wave and spitting salt. We stood and bobbed and chattered like magpies. Rum punch was served and we all indulged (carefully) and laughed.

Matthew and I had brought our kites and found the high breeze lifted them easily. I was in the water “networking” (yapping about our husbands) when we noticed Matt standing at the end of the beach with the kite flying, and 2 small boys watched in rapt adoration and another running pell mell legs churning in the sand to see the flying kite. In such beautiful setting a kite of turqupoise white and black so high was an amazing sight.

Later we took the lazy rider ride on inner tubes. Lazy is right. Almost no current whatsoever and most of us kicking and paddling to move along. At the shallows you could stand on the rocks and carry your tube or pray to float. Personally I couldn't stand, my tube was stuck to my ass like it had been glued there and I couldn't get my butt out of it. The 8-year old in the lead wasnt helping by shouting from far ahead “Just stand up!!!” I did finally figure the magic trick. Turn backward an push against the rocks with your feet and shove yourself along (yes your ass paid the price, but a few bruisses compared to being hung up on the rocks like someone's lost swimsuit (no one ever wants to know how or why but we've all seen it) is no hard choice).. But Julia couldn't turn around or stand and was simply wedged on the rocks forever. After 4-5 minutes we realized the guide standing beside her trying to help couldn't get her up or out we began to laugh, and laugh somemore while trying not to fall off our own tubes where we were all flotaing away. Worst case, it was her son in the lead moving ditching his hung mother as fast as he could.

It took about 45 minutes to travel, and the guides pulled out a jar and plastic cups and served coconut rum punch to the grown ups. Oh what wonderful guides! Lord knows that Julia certainly was ready for a drink!!

At the end, the river came out on the beach right near the cliffs where we were suddenly fighting the tides and just yards away breakers were hitting the carved cliffs and sending up waves at least 50 feet or more into the air. So quiet and secluded. This is apparantly where they did more filming... now I'll recognize the background.... and remember the sights and sounds and the tang of salt in the air. If you never go anywhere else, go to Batibou Bay on the islandof Dominica.

I'll be waiting with the punch.

Love, 

The Blonde

3/31/14 Dear Mishka. Just a daily update

3/31/14

Dear Mishka,

The waves are breaking today so loudly that you can hear them from a distance and expect to see great crashing plumes from the balcony rising over the trees. Probably they aren't, likely they're only a foot or 2 in height but they run the length of the beach creating such noise with little waves. Matthew's out playing in waves like a happy little seal for you now. For a man that couldn't swim a month ago we can keep him out of the water now. I'm never seen anyone take to it so quickly. Nor have I ever seen anyone quite so white. We'll have to make sure that we keep the sun him lotion lathered on him.

Of course this means I must be a site myself, having purchased at wearing my first bikini since I was in my twenties. Thank god we have to beach to ourselves. Otherwise I think I would frighten someone into believing it spirits. I want to lay back on the beach in the sun. Of course Matt stays in the water bobbing and ducking under. So, like a mother watching her child I find I cannot close my eyes in rest because I have to stop and watch him every few moments even when he is only walking in the surf. I worried because he is so very very new to swimming. And I have been swimming for over 40 years. Even I know to respect the ocean currents and waves like this. It's tempting to go to a more pubic beach but I'm afraid someone may take me for dead fish tangled in a pink net. Matthew is still in the water paddling paddling paddling. And riding waves with a young boys happy grin on his face. he looks for seashells and treats them like small treasures and get so excited he has to show me each or bettre, give them to me as small gifts in different places at different times. My shell of the day.

Love,

The Blonde

3/29/14 Dear Mishka. Just a an average letter

3/29/14

Dear Mishka

So today is finally raining. I mean real rain. Like Michigan (If Michigan had palm trees and coconuts), pretty steady and then every now and then it's really hard for a couple moments again. It will be interesting beach combing today when I walk Matthew to work will have to see what is waiting for us.

Some time later as the Disney movies would say



The morning it at last stopped raining except the occasional drizzle. But it's raining now truly hard because the palm leaves are drooping under the water but if you look across the rich green the distance between you and the sky you can see it coming down like a fine haze. I expect to be soaked by the time I meet up with Matthew. But I think walking along the beach in this will be wonderful. And of course if it gets too heavy, I'll just run to the nearest palm tree and cower like a frightened little lobster staring into a bowl of butter. But I must admit looking at the green the word verdant seems the most appropriate that comes to mind. Is it me using a 50 cent word? Or is it simply the most appropriate to describe the world that I see around me as waves are harder than I've become used to.



But somehow still the same, so gentle even with the crashing so much louder today. I wonder how high the tide will reach before retrieving Matthew from his air conditioned little cage (I should mentioned that on an island in the Caribbean air conditioning makes people envious of your cage)



Last night was the spaghetti dinner for the students (hosted by a local restaurant for all of them, the U being small enough to pull this off), there are so many volunteers they were able to set it up for everyone. Matthew's knight in shining armor kicked in and agreed to be on cleanup duty. I'm glad we did it as we met a professor of microbiology and his companion who told us we should look up at the the night sky rolling in to discover it was clear enough and we got a look for the first time at the infamous green flash at sunset. It was amazing. It didn't even last a heartbeat but it was truly green. I've heard people who say that it's fiction until they are actually standing here within sight. I've heard about it in pirate movies but I never knew that it was real, this time I got to see it for myself..

Love
The Blonde

3/20/14 Dear Mishka. Sea shells

3/20/14

Dear Mishka

I've been quite lucky so far with my walks along the beach. The first day there was a very large conch shell in shades of cream and gray. Needless to say I trotted up like any tourist, pounced on it and stuffed it into my bag crying "Mine!" (remember Tank Girl?). Last week during an evening walk in the dark with Matthew and a flashlight we discovered a piece of sea sponge turning and rolling in the surf. That particular piece of sea life bounced its way right into my living room.

Later while discussing my goodies, I was told by one of the people that works here that she had been walking the beach for 4 years and have never found anything like that. I guess I'm lucky. But then Murphy's Law found me again. For the first time ever a swarm of jellyfish has been washed up on the shore right here at a pretty private white sand beach. And I wanted to go paddling today. Well you can't win them all.

I have to settle for sitting on the balcony and watching the tall mastered ships go by in the breeze. Loki sits with me these days, he got used to his leash and harness and we made his leash long enough for him to pounce upon to the table for a better view. You should see his face in the breeze and he is sniffing. His head tilted back and his eyes are squeezed shut and his little nose is twitching faster than you can imagine.

Love
The Blonde

3/27/14 Dear Mishka. My first experience with the kitchen

3/27/14
Dear Mishka,


Let me tell you the saga of a brave little stove. Some time during the week I decided it was cookie time. Warm chocolate chips like mom used to make.. Mostly for myself because I had a craving. And of course I told everybody it was all for Matt because I'm such a great wife (stop laughing! I am too!).

Anyway, I discovered that the stove would not turn on. The burners would light slightly if you used a lighter but no oven. I pushed buttons in and out because the stove labels are gone completely by now, it's a bit on the well used side. After pushing and pulling and waving a grill lighter around like a magic wand I came to a decision.. No such luck. Time to call maintenance!

Maintenance around here is delightful. Always quick and helpful. This time they quickly attempted to be helpful. The first man was Robert, who I suspect was the gardener based on his sun hat and gardening boots. He and I sit around discussing how to push buttons and pull levers, and I'm helping as only I can when I can barely make out what someone is saying and absolutely nothing helps. Not match nor lighter or even a prayer.

Now make the all important phone call to the head of maintenance who is home sick with the flu. Aforesaid gentleman proceeds to tell us over the phone that the switch on the wall where the plugged in is probably off. We had a bit of trouble explaining to him that there was no switch, no outlet, and no plug. Well that is poor Roberts was explaining everything over the phone to Joey for the third time.

During this delightful highly productive time period I spotted my neighbor Anne. Time to ask someone with experience here. Anne has lived here for about 30 years, much of it in this apartment complex. Anne walked in and pointed out there was a plug in back, a very short one, she also explained that the crimp in the hose she could see was not helping. So under her firm and knowing direction Robert and the younger gardener, named Ronan, proceeded to drag the oven out from its location unkink the line and discover that there was a plug and it had a number of feet of cord that has been stuffed into some open space in the back of the oven. Oh THAT sounds safe.... We pulled it out and ran it down the wall to the nearest outlet. Tah Dah! A plug leading to a socket and a switch... gosh what an unusually familiar sight. Joey also explained to us that the button with pretty little star was the igniter... for the whole beast. It makes a hell of a noise while creating electrical shocks, mostly because it ignites all the burners and the oven at the same time by creating electrical sparks at each location. The only difference is whether or not you have turned on the gas, something I was actually hesitant to do by this time, golly gee why?


Again we attempted to turn everything on and I should mention Anne's dog Raz had snuck in my apartment when the door was left open and was also in the kitchen, bringing the total to 5. Little devil was not supposed to be there so he stood in absolute silence watching us. I thought his sneaky silence and freezing in place was actually quite adorable, not allowed but still adorable for a true shaggy dog. And then Anne spotted him, reminded him he did not live here so he gave us a bit of a dejected huff and left. Lovely.

And it was then that the Gods of the Ovens spit at us, laughed, and then left.


So in our infinite wisdom and experience we decided the tank must be out of propane, so Robert went into town for one. Now these suckers are full size and weight a ton. When they got back in a surprisingly short amount of time (no “island time” here) he and Ronan wrestled it out of the back of a truck and dragged it to the apartment and plugged it in. When they moved the old one they discovered it was still quite heavy and full. But just to check on things we went inside again turning things on with the new tank.. Sure as shit those burners lit like a dream, and so did the oven. So out they went to put the old tank back on. Guess what? The Oven Gods were still laughing. It appears something is creeping around inside the old tank occasionally creeping up to block the flow of propane and snickering.

So the poor gardeners proceed to unhook, drag, drag again, hook again, and press buttons again. Once again everything lights like a charm. I even let every single burner at the same time and left them running and it worked just fine. Then we decided to turn on the oven, a bit nerve-racking since earlier when the igniter wasn't working we could hear gas flow quite heavily and smell it. Not reassuring to people waving a grill lighter around. So most of us take a step back and we let Roberts have the honor of potentially blowing himself up. Darned if that puppy didn't light. We were all amazed and thanked our Oven Gods. And then they informed us they weren't done yet, and the oven began to start smoking. As my husband would say, head wall head wall head wall.

Robert decided it was simply dirty and pulled out the racks and grabbed a rag from the sink. He bent over and insisted that he clean the oven, not me. I felt a bit foolish watching somebody else do my job. But when he finished and lit the oven.. no more smoke. The racks went back in and the gentlemen left with my profuse thanks.


Of course the story CANNOT end of there. My oven actually did not continue lighting and the broiler didn't light at all. We spoke with Joey, AKA Mr. Astaphan, who turned out to be a phenomenal ass, and after a long bit of bitching he sent out an actual repair crew. They were here for about 2 hours removing part scraping parts and putting parts back. I felt more faith as they had actual tool kits (our gardeners had none and parts IN the tool kits for the oven and for cleaning little parts. When these Oracles of the Oven Gods finished I had a fully operating oven!!! My religion had changed.

Everything looks like it should, work like it should and warms like it should. To celebrate I baked a chocolate cake and put cream cheese frosting on it for Matthew. I also have my originally desired batch of chocolate chip cookies prepped and in the batters box (no pun intended, well maybe a little intended). Now we have to wait and see how it turned out.

Love, The Blonde

P.S. - I realized shortly after that there were no temperature marks on the oven either. So an oven thermometer (ok, 2 of them) was purchased and placed inside. There appears to be no control, it heats and keeps heating.  I wait until its ALMOST at temp and stuff in my baking quickly. After all this living hell... I can live with this. No one touch my stove! It now works!!  No touchy!!!

3/27/14

Dear Mishka,

And then there are the cows on the beach....

3/27/14 Dear Mishka . I cannot tell you how excited I am at this time. 2 days ago we were told that our container made landfall. That means that all our belongings  are somewhere on this island waiting for Customs. Goody goody, my sewing machines and  my fabric. I think I have actually going into creativity withdrawal. This such a thing  exist? Oh yeah and all of my kitchen items. Let the baking begin! Matthew is looking for to his clothes and his leather  working supplies.  Its the simple things. Matthew has gotten his first paycheck, so it is time to pay bills, rent, and then, go shopping! I should wait until post shopping for my next letter so you can find out what ridiculous things I bought that we couldn't live without. I heard they're really cute basket in the market... Because there is only 1 "city" we have discovered that the larger grocery store, and the discount store both deliver. I am thrilled not having to carry all of this on the bus. And I'm sure the people sure this with me on the bus would be thrilled since they would like to sit down eventually. Now just an itty bitty problem. My list has gotten just a smidgen out of controlling. Just a smidgen. Really. I promise.  Just because I'm trying to get that pink bikini on the list there is nothing wrong. It would go just fine between the baking powder and the cream cheese.  And yes I would wear it,  everyone wears one down here so I think I could do it without humiliations. Did I mention that the 1 major  grocery store, Astaphan's, is actually very similar to a Piggly Wiggly with a miniature Target placed above it? A rather unique way of dealing with limited space and making the most out of the local demographic. There is also a store called Save-a-Lot. I have not been in there but I will have to check it out as they are the only store on the island to carry kitty litter. And we have reached crisis status. I suspect they're  similar to Wal-Mart. The good news is they deliver as well so we will not have to haul a bunch of heavy kitty litter! Yeah!  And I suspect our two furry children will be even happier with fresh kitty litter.  Let it be said, there is nothing more dangerous than an indoor kitty unhappy with the state of his litter box!  I have yet to this today to win a bout of chemical warfare. Love The Blonde

3/13/14

Dear Mishka

It's a amazing how rely on our phones. It is evident as we squint into the sun and wish for a way to record our thoughts. Then it occurs to us, paper and pen.

Sitting on what they call the subway deck, it's a large deck overlooking the ocean that's  behind the Subway Sandwich Shop. There are dozens of seats and a dozen power outlets for the students.

Anyway, I'm sitting on the deck and you can't believe how loud the surface is  today crashing over and over and most beautiful symphony of earth and ocean.

Yet still four large sailboats are anchored just offshore and 2 more are out already, sails raised into the sky

The wind may cause the breakers to roar but it is also swept the skies almost clear and the clouds that remain are being hurried along

Rumble  low then roar and crash, the choice is clear, soothing or exhilarating. I always feel a little of both. It all really depends on how tired I am. But no matter what, the power always invokes a reaction

 Simple pen and paper. How many of the have lost our ability to write in classic cursive as we were taught as children. I find myself attempting and being forced to slow down to remember how.  My mother has such beautiful writing, what was once described is copper plate. I am envious of such beautiful and elegant writing

Love
The Blonde

3/10/14

Dear Mishka

Today, day 3, it is crystal clear and Guadalupe is so easy to see that it could be part of the same island and just the other side of the bay.

Can you believe that's actually another island? I'm just sitting on my balcony drinking my coffee looking at the amazing world.

I love how different this place can be. All at the same time. The apartment is stunning and looks like it should be set in downtown Ann Arbor.

Outside you can hear the ocean & see forever but there's also all the scrub & the trees, and you can hear a cow mooing as loud as she can, right beneath your balcony

Ok now; urban apartment, cow, & I look outside and Matthew's at the security gate talking to somebody on a motor scooter riding around on these little two lane roads where people drive like a bat out of hell.

I must admit that the cow is funny as hell. They simply bring her out in the mornings and let go of the rope and let her wander around. Yesterday there was a fair size black bull wandering up the path as well followed by a half grown calf.

Love,
The Blonde

3/9/14

Dear Mishka,

I woke up the second morning in March 9thour new place. Matthew pointed to look out the window at our view of the ocean when he noted that it was so clear we could see the island of Guadalupe in the distance. I'm still waiting for reality to smack me one.

I've walked along the beach 1/2 dozen times now to get to town and it still seems like a vacation, and I'm waiting to be told we have to go home by Saurday.

This place has such high ceilings and tile floors that it echoes. But the cats take great joy in the echo, they sit on the landing and wail loudly until we come looking to see what is wrong, and then they look at us with innocent eyes like a 9-year old who has been caught up to no good.

Love
The Blonde

3/1/14

Dear Mishka

Well now I think I can say I am officially in the Caribbean, I am doing a wonderfully creative lobster invitation. However most lobsters don't pet cat well writing their blog. I will give credit for creative lines, I went and bought myself a creative swimsuit since I would be in the islands and no one I know would be seeing it. Creative meaning skin showing more than usual.  ergo, burns more than usual. Luckily I'm an expert on sunburn so I know how to treat them. No pain just bright colors. All I need our sparkles now.

I wish I had something more delightful to say. But there hasn't been much going on the last 2 days, although we did have dinner at a three star restaurant last night. Filet mignon that melted in my mouth.  There are all sorts of little goodies hiding away here. I can't wait to show them to the people I love. And the people that I hate are going to get photographs that say neener neener neener.

Thats all for now.

Love
The Blonde

2/27/2014
Dear Mishka

It's Matt's first day and he opened his suitcase to find Loki and Merlin had apparently both rolled in his clothes, fur all over them! Though I suppose that's better than the first time.... on our very last day of packing he did a “test pack” of the suitcases to see what would actually fit, and then he left the room. Suitcase open. The cats knew something was up, and they peed IN his suitcase. All over his work clothes. I did the fastest load of laundry in my life while he tossed a cat across the room. Now tossed gently mind you but still, he was THAT mad and THAT stressed.

So this also means it is my first day alone. I'm not sure how to keep myself busy. Type a few letters to you, eat an espresso brownie cookie, iron some shirts, and perhaps I'll laze by the pool. Yup, tiny housing but it's got a pool with a view of (wait for it) the ocean. Around 1 I think we are setting up the bank account and signing the lease.

List of the things I forgot to bring. Ausssie 3-Minute Miracle conditioner is one of the ones I'm gonna miss most. I didn't think about my hair and salt water. Whups. Forgot all about salt. I'm a great lakes girl, with a chlorine-free pool no less.

I also realize a whole shitload of stuff that I DON'T need is on the way. No basement to store it. Like Matt's router table and power tools. We didn't consider that. Whups.

Did a minute bit of shopping for groceries. The cost of living is high but from what we can tell it's about Disney pricing. And since we were just at Disney we weren't suffering sticker shock. Like the $19.50 box of Cheerios. Now now.... remember, everything is brought in by boat and it's EC (East Caribbean Currency). That 2.67 on the dollar. So it's $7.30 for a full size box of honey Nut Cheerios., $5.85 for a bottle of Herbal Essence Conditioner (the only kind in stock at the moment), and $5.48 for bottle of aerosol hair spray. Disney pricing. Matt is about to start losing weight. Glad for the jump in his income. Food is definitely more expensive because of it's limited availability. Except of course bananas, sweet potatoes, and avocados the size of a small grapefruit.

Nifty fact, our new place is about a 30 minute walk up the beach to campus. And we sent our fencing gear exclusively to fence on the beach.

Just a little mental picture for you Loki is flopped out next to me looking for all the world like a 15 lb fur covered whale asking for a belly rub. If he can ever manage to roll his fat ass over on the first try I just might give it to him.

Merlin however is living under the bed unless it's time to demand a meal.

Love
The Blonde

2/26/2014
Dear Mishka

Up early for snorkeling at Champagne Beach. An hour away on twisty windy trails (you should be proud, I didn't puke there or back!). The faculty spouses group. I'm a lot younger in age but oh well.

It was really beautiful and we all went right in. Matthew even put on a life vest and paddled out into the ocean. I was SO PROUD of him, he said it was no big deal since he had the vest but you and I know different. And this was the ocean, not the Huron River in a canoe.

It was beautiful... fish, coral, all sorts of life.... and then the fun part. The champagne. Remember I told you once Dominica was a volcanic island? Still is. Gases beneath the plates build up and are released from below between crevasses below and flutter up to the surface like champagne bubbles. You swim through these beautiful things, feeling them brush your face and hearing them in your ears. This was quite far out but Matt was there beside me. No flippers or snorkel, but his mask on and paddling away in his vest. Mishka, I was swimming in a glass of champagne with bright blue and yellow fish swimming by. If this isn't a world meant for you I don't know what is

On an offside, I should mention that our first day/night we went to a local eatery/restaurant called Tomatoes. Girlfriend, I have traveled the US, England and Scotland and have discovered that on a still developing island, in the far edge of the Caribbean, in a little open air place on campus, is the the best cheesecake I have ever had in my entire life!!!! I am not joking, this was beyond anything I thought cheesecake could be. So rich it would drop Dominic in one bite. Come on, swimming in Champagne and eating cheesecake? I'm still waiting for the breakdown. Maybe on move in day..

Love

The Blonde

2/25/2014. Dear Mishka. From the kitties

2/25/2014

Dear Mishka

Ross Faculty Housing, free and good for a month.... remember our first apartment? Well cut it in half and eliminate the stove and the bedroom. Yep, a double bed literally fills half the floor space. But the boys are out and roaming happily. OK really they are under the bed half the time and bored, but they are out. We are so brain damaged when we get there we barely set up a litter box before falling over and passing out.

Day 1, we are given a high speed tour by a woman you would like, she is like us, going 100 miles a minutes in 7 different directions and stilll stopping to chat with every third person. I like her. Even if I am lost in about 7.325 minutes after starting the campus tour. There is fabulous pastry shop hidden away here on the campus .... but I may never be able to find it again. Perhaps my croissant radar can pick it up... beep beep beep.

Then the actual apartment. Our speed tour guide is also the housing person. Carol. Matt briefly remembers the place she said she might have found. She says it is indeed tw bedrooms while we are talking on the phone in early February. The facebook page for spouses raves about it. With no money but slick talking, I manage to get her to secure it, 3 weeks early, no down payment, and talked them dwn 200 in rent. 1600 a month. Lets see what we get, shall we?

We first stop at the model.. a balcony that wraps around to a fantastic view of the mountins and the ocean... postcard picture perfect! I suspect ours will not be that view since we talked them down, hah hah. Inside, huge rooms, vaulted ceilings, new furniture. We are told an interior designer from Miami came down and did it for the owner. Then the second floor (two floors?) More vaulted celings, bright cheery windows, new furniture and linens.... it's simply incredible. One of the most gorgeous places I have ever seen. God I hope ours is kinda like this. Probably smaller rooms and one floor... then she asks how we like it... and waits. Huh? Waitaminuteaitaminute... this... this is OURS? Mishka, it's more beautiful than any place I've ever lived. Far nicer than Sarahs, or Mom and Dad's first place, Matt says.... I think of how hard we've scratched all these years, how much we've been unable to afford, and now this place beyond anything I ever dreamed we would live in. I sat down on the edge of the bed and burst into tears. I tried not to but I just sobbed. It was like winning a lottery but no one would take it back, a dream that was real. Wait util you see the videos. You are DEFINITELY STAYING WITH US!!!

Love

The Blonde

Dear Mishka. So I promised you a cat's story. Here we go.

Dear Aunty Mishka

Whatza dayte?

Hi, it's us, Loki and Merlin. Mommy said to tell you our story.

Daddy got a job in a place called Dom-inn-ee-kha.... I think that means “No mice island”. Anyway, mommy and daddy had looked for a home for us kitties but could only take two. Karma is the youngest so he can't go. Sssssssshhhhh... don't tell him. He thinks he's getting the house to himself.

Mommy is trying to avoid something called car-an-teen. I don't like car rides either. She keeps calling people saying “We took a job and it's only 2 months away but you are supposed to have everything a month in advance.... tests take longer than that!!

Now she says I need my new rabies vaccine and blood work.. something about the number 282 dolarzz scared her. I don't knokw why. I got to be grocery store scanned! And I gots a longggggg number too! It was near my ears. Merlin's was near his butt! Hah hah!

Merlin gets his tight-er next, I want one too! Why does he go first? What's 30 days gotta do with it?

Yeah! I gots mine too! Mommy hs been on the phone with peoples in planes and islands about things not gonna be done in time. Wonder what? Anywayses... Mommy jumped at the number 437 Dollarzez this time. Wonder why numbers scares her? Not like theys mousies.... what's bills anyway? They keep scaring her so I gotsta kill 'em.

We both got stuffed in the moving boxes again dang it, sumpin about health certificates and she keeps calling the you-ess-dee-ay for appointments... We got poked at and my toofies scratched. Then she did something with bill 288 dollarazz that mde her huffy and she took us home mumbling about 128 dollarzez endorsement in Lansing. Golly shes a grump. We don't even leave for 5 more days. Thats plenty of time, look how many naps I can take!

Now she's grouchy cause she facksed out papers to that Dominie place vet and he sent back a peedeefff thing. Just cause the printers packed she's gotta go the libry.

Gooody. She come back dancing and smiling about visa permits and stuff. We got pettings.

Darnit, now she's all feaking out, daddy too. Called those plane people and they said a local vet checkup. We had one. I guess they meant a local vet in Antigua supposed to meet us in the airport to poke at us before we's allowed onna nother plane. Whats a Sunday afternoon got to do with it? We don't leave until tomorrow morning.

Ok, she and daddy are almost happy crying, they keep saying they is changing our names to Craig and Richards.... something about a miracle worker and a saint Dr Edwards.. Oh maaaaannnn.... it's back in the boxes again

Huff!!! No fair! Mommy and Daddy got me up at 2 a.m. And stuffed an icky pill called a sedatatie down my troat. They haddda do Merlin too but he got back and spitted it out twice while biting Mommies finger. She bleeded all over him. Now theyyyyy sayyyyyysss wwweeee gonnnnnaaaa goooo furrr a rriiiiiddeee...... wheeeeee.

So sleepy. Wuz all nice and purty colors. Now that Saint Edwards is poking at me. Mommy got a paper and is dancing again.

So this ittty place is Antiua? We went outside the airs ports now to go around and go back in!. Why is mommy playing with her papers book? She gots the good paper from Saint Dr Edwards only 15 minutes ago. She keeps crying “WHERE DID IT GO?!?!?” and “CALL THE VET BACK!!!”. I guess he's gottsa turn round before the plane takes off to go zoom again. But why am I in a hard box? And why am I onna moving floor? Where did mommy go? And sumpin is going on because daddy has been called into security. They can't recognize what our kibble is..

The zoomy thing has stopped and we are on the moving floor again. Round and round it's going. Merlin hasta look inside, but I get to look out. Oh there's mommy and daddy! Whoops, there they go, hmmm, round and round some more.. there they is! I get it! It's a game... how many times can I go round while they step closer to the box with the person inside.

Oh finally, someone takes us off the moving thingie, good, Merlin was gonna yarf in his box. And mommy was starting to freak out..

Yawn.... well they let us out finally and a twisty car ride. I like it here. It's very comfy behind this big chir, and Merlin found his favorite spot under the bed. We're gonna go to sleep now. Talks to you in another time!!!

P.S., Hey sweetie, it's Pamela now. Loki is sleeping and can't see me adding to his letter. We really did get stuck in the back of a very slow customs line while they rode the luggage carousel. Finally it was our turn at the window (since no one else was left!!) Upon batting my eyes at the customs officer to move faster, we tried to pick the kids up from someone who had watched too many shows about Paris Hilton and had a phone glued to the side of her face while waggling fingers at us. I thought she wanted a tip, turns out this was the official looking for their paper work. Official WHAT?!?.... oh well. This is about the time Matthew realized we were missing a suitcase.... the one with his work clothes (all his clothes for that matter). We had mine with tank tops, shorts and skirts, swimsuits, blanket, and the spare suitcase with towels, pillows and kitty litter, but no Matthew clothes. Off we go to play the claims form dance!! He hadn't cried in hours and didn't now. I was very proud of him.

The boys started to come out of it just as we got to the faculty housing the school supplied.

Now I should mention, while watching the kitty-go-round and hoping the cats wouldn't puke, someone was handing out the following.

*****************************************************************

“Insert nifty logo here”

Environmental Health Department

Ministry of Health

CHIKUNGUNYA FEVER ALERT CARD

Chikungunya is a viral infection transmitted to humans by the bite of an infected Aedes mosquito.

Syymptom usually begin 3-7 days after being bitten by an infected mosquito.

Common symptoms include:

√ Sudden onset of high fever (>102) √ Rash (~50% of cases)

√ Severe joint pain mainly in the arms and legs √ Headache

√ Muscle pain, back pain, fatigue √ Nausea

There is no vaccine or medication to prevent Chikugunya virus infection of disease.

CONTACT YOUR HEALTH CARE PROVIDER IF YOU SUSPECT SYMPTOMS OF CHIKUNGUNYA

FOR FURTHER INFORMATION CONTACT

Environmental Health Deparftment 266-3468/3467

Welcome to the Paradise Island!!

*****************************************************************

OK, I added that last line......

But seriously, do you REMEMBER me and mosquitos,? The passionate love affair they have for me? I want lots and LOTS of Avon skin so soft repellant. Apparantly the shit works wonders down here. Also this little bugger is double size and striped like a zebra, I should be able to spot it.. I hope.

Love

The Blonde

(and the fuzzy boys)

2/24/2014

Dear Mishka

Oh you have GOT to be f-ing kidding me. I was told by American Airlines to be at Metro THREE HOURS early for an international flight. And they were very serious. Especially since I'm bringing the cats (that's a whole different letter). Remember my comment about the time? Matt calls it O'dark thirty. We got there, and mom all but threw us out of the car since temperatures were plummeting into the single digits fast. And there, low and behold, was an empty airport, a dark ticketing counter, and three people asleep in chairs.... uh oh.

I grabbed an employee who helped us get a cart and wrangle 3 highly overweight suitacases, one medium cat kennel, and two cats in travel duffel bags into the airport. She then told us that the agents don't even show up until 4:30. Our flight was at 6 so we were there at 3..... snarl curse.... 90 minutes before ticketing agents even wandered in the door. Anyone want to kill an agent? Slowly people trickled in, got the story and we all sat and chatted. My sedated cats were a hit with the girls. Super poofy Merlin who filled his carrier with fluff and Loki with his chaplin mustahe and pink glitter nail caps (I was mad at Matt when I went to have caps put on his cat,  the vet techs thought it was hysterical).

I took a picture of us on the first plane, excited and raring to go! I also took a picture on the last plane 12 hours later... I am never ever posting it for public viewing. I'm surprised I didn't scare my seat mate.

Therer were no breakdowns yet in communication or travel.... so I was waiting for it. Yep. I did it too. And you get that in the next story.

Love

The Blonde

2/23/14 Dear Mishka the first Letters to Mishka

2/23/2014

Dear Mishka,

Your idea to write my blog as letters to you was brilliant, I'm nervous writing but love to chat with my best friend. So, shall we start the very first “Letter to Mishka”?    Names been changed wherever I remembered to.

Well, this is sit, everything we own is either in the dumpster, storage, or on a container being shipped to (please god the right place) Dominica... pronounced btw Dom^ in ^ ee ka^. I haven't fallen apart yet, I've been busy making sure my husband doesn't. He's so flipped out over this and the new job that I've never seen him so stressed. I guess I'm saving it until later.

Cleaning the house at the end got a bit freaky.... we simply didn't have time. We were really let down, the weather stopped everyone from helping Judy and Samuel of course each showed up for a day or two... you can always count on them. And Scott of course got there. Thank god or we never would have gotten the antique furniture into storage. We simply didnt have cleaning time and at the end it was “just throw it in the box already!” or throw it out. We tossed out a lot of stuff we never would have. My entire wine collection ws left behind. and left the house so trashed it looks like squatters have been living there. I'm abolutely humiliated by the degree of wreckage.... it's after 9 and we still have to go to Sarah's, sign the car over, say goodbyes, and then to my mothers to sign my car over, snooze for about 48.5 minutes and then off the DTW at “Holy Jesus WHAT time?” o'clock in the morning..... and she has to be awake to drive us

I'm not scared yet, I'm suspicious my body is saving it for a mother freaking huge collapse.

Love

The Blonde